Understanding the behavior of an insecure person is key!
One thing I've learned in life is that things aren't always what they seem to be. From the outside, one might look as if though they are whole, confident, sure, complete, positive or self-assured but in reality, the total opposite is true.
When a person is sure in himself, he doesn't walk around telling everybody how awesome he is, how many trophies he has, the wall of awards he's acquired, how strong he is, what belt degree he is, how many certificates of training he has, the prestigious awards he has received, or tell everyone about the best, elite schools he went to.
Don't get me wrong... it's cool and even healthy to know (for yourself) that you've accomplished a ton of things because of all your hard work and ethical efforts.
So what's the whole point of this article?
I'm glad you asked.
See, some people spend their whole lives accomplishing one thing after another, after another, and so on; simply so that they can mask or drown out the insecurities they've had since they were a child.
I call this conundrum - security blanket success. Now I say "conundrum" because it's really just years of repressed insecurities, covered up with mountains and mountains of accolades. This person lives on a hamster-wheel, perpetually striving for the next belt, certificate, trophy, award, etc., etc., and never truly feeling complete.
I DIDN'T SAY IT, PHYCOLOGY TODAY DID
Here are just 4 signs that somebody is probably insecure, that was literally taken from Phycology Today.
The insecure person tries to make you feel insecure yourself.
When you start to question your own self-worth, is it typically around a specific person or type of person? Is that individual always broadcasting his or her strengths? If you don’t feel insecure in general, but only around certain people, it’s likely they’re projecting their insecurities onto you.
The insecure person needs to showcase his or her accomplishments.
You don’t necessarily have to feel insecure around someone to conclude that inferiority is at the heart of their behavior. People who are constantly bragging about their great lifestyle, their elite education, or their fantastic children may very well be doing so to convince themselves that they really do have worth.
The insecure person drops the “humble brag” far too often.
The humble brag is a brag disguised as a self-derogatory statement. You’ve all seen these on Facebook, when an acquaintance complains about all the travel she has to take (due to the importance of her job), or all the time he has to spend watching his kids play (and, by the way, win) hockey games. (The "Facebook gloat" is a bold-faced brag which is easier to spot but may very well have the same roots.)
The insecure person frequently complains that things aren’t good enough.
People high in inferiority like to show what high standards they have. You may label them as snobs, but as much as you realize they’re putting on an act, it may be hard to shake the feeling that they really are better than you. What they’re trying to do, you may rightly suspect, is to proclaim their high standards as a way of asserting that not only are they better than everyone else, but that they hold themselves to a more rigorous set of self-assessment criteria.
See, there really isn't any problem if a person has insecurities and wants to do whatever he wants in his life to burry or hide it. The insecurity becomes a problem when it effects you and me! People with insecurities that can't be controlled tend to fall under another criteria that's far more dangerous to others, and that is called BULLYING!
An insecure person can "kind of" get by in life, just like a normal person, UNTIL his insecurities are triggered by something or someone, before we really get to see the real person!
Things can get pretty dangerous around an insecure person, especially in a relationship. He's so insecure, he ONLY goes out or marries an extremely submissive person, that's too horrified and has an even lower self esteem than he does, to EVER say anything to him; so she codifies and strokes his ego, to keep in him sedated in his egotistical, narcissistic, self-centered and self-absorbed ways.
He preys on people that are weak-minded and fearful of his outburst, childlike, temper tantrums, and will never puff up to anyone that exudes more power or authority over him, since he's only concerned with people that he feels and knows he can look down on.
However, once alone with his weaker vessel(s), his anger is kindled by the constant rewinding and playing back, psychologically, of his insecurities towards the more, genuine and confident people. He uses his weaker-minded, lower self esteemed partner as a verbal and sometimes physical punching bag, to make himself feel big again.
Until or unless something drastic, dramatic or traumatizing happens to this insecure mess, so-called-man, he will continue to live life building and puffing himself up, while tearing and breaking down others.
If you're reading this and know someone exactly like the person in this article, stay far, far away from him. If you're reading this and are exactly like the person in this article, drop your insecurity, love yourself the way your Creator made you, stop making everyone around you uncomfortable and just know that everybody knows!
This is why it's very important to learn a Martial Art. When you learn a Martial Art, train with like-minded people, exchange some blood, sweat and tears, build camaraderie, and develop friendships... you won't have time to be so self absorbed and full of insecurities. Plus, you'll actually develop human-like tendencies, that would make you feel disgusted with yourself to look down at other people.